They all said it before

they all said it before, you were just stubborn not to listen.
You thought you were stronger, above it......
Such a fool aint ya...

For the first time, the first time in 25 years..you feel theres no way out
you have been immersed into a situation so irreversible, your only way out is to restart..
problem is, it doesnt really restart...you just abruptly switch off...
no farewells, no please wait while windows is shutting down...its just a 1 turning into a 0
one second you were there, with a name, a future, people you loved and cared about, an identity, ambitions, a character, a certain style of doing things...something that ticked you and only you off, some special thing you saw in someone that nobody else possibly sees.

And the following second...with no distinct border between them...
You are nothing...
something of the past...
you cease to exist.

What makes it all the more dreadful.
Its all the product of your choices, every time you had two paths to choose one, apparently you chose the wrong one, you try to fix it at every opportunity life gives you a choice ( which in anyone's case is quite abundant) and you just keep screwing it up
goofing
and nobody will ridicule you but yourself.

Your solution? ho ho, be a coward and take your own life.. forever seal your memory with shame, face the eternal damnation as a result of you making a decision which isn't yours to make. people will never understand your motives, they will probably think it was a call for attention gone too far.
But nothing comes at an easy price.

Your method, some say you have 8 million ways to die...Your method would be the simplest...just jump off a skyscraper, enough time to go back on your decision but realize you really cant beat gravity...3ashan ta3raf we tegama3 inta 2ad eeh 7omar.
And no, i wont do it in a suit
nor a t-shirt that says goodbye cruel world
no note, no tell folana i love her
just jump
bare
seal it with the shame it deserves
theyll probably say you are some crazy fucko
you deserve it...
*poof*